Another week
down and a few more days closer to school starting. I’ve almost made it through
my 18th summer without being reported to DCS. I know that sounds
horrible but, you will never know what it is like to walk in my shoes. If the
truth were known, I should be in a straightjacket and heavily medicated at this
point. My only solace is going to work, how sad is that? Jeremy however, has no reprieve. His
personality has split, it’s the only way he has survived.
One of my
secret pleasures in this world (besides eating in the middle of the night) is
watching….19 kids and counting. I know, it is completely not what you were
thinking. I just am in awe of how this family operates. I am very aware that
the show is edited, but I find it hard to believe that their children NEVER
fight? That Michelle and Jim Bob NEVER argue? That isn’t natural. I mean for goodness
sakes, they have been through pregnancy and birth 19 times! How are they even
still speaking to each other, let alone continuing to have sex together?
I have my
suspicions that Michelle is very heavily medicated, possibly a speed ball
addict (cocaine and heroin) thus making her as relaxed and productive as she
appears to be. This is the only explanation that I can come up with as no one
can be that on task ALL THE TIME. Jim
Bob is obviously her dealer and she doesn’t want to piss him off and get cut
off from her only means of escape, thus the willingness to continue to have sex
even after 19 children.
I don’t understand how she is
still continent. She must be like the Norway rat (it has absolutely no bowel or
bladder control and is incontinent with every movement). I have only had 4
children and I can’t sneeze without wetting myself like a newborn babe. I have
written to the makers of Nyquil and pitched an idea. I think it would be great
product placement to combine their product with a box of panty liners and
market it specifically to women. Their hook could be to highlight the fact that
if you are sick, take the Nyquil, put on a panty liner and if you still cough
and pee your pants, at least it won’t be a full bed change. You’ll be so drowsy
you won’t even care if you piss your pants! I can’t believe they didn’t jump on
that idea but I’ve not given up all hope.
I find it hard to work with my
4 children, I cannot fathom 19 freaking kids up in my business all the time.
The fact that she home schools them all proves to me that she is not making
sound decisions. I’m sure that I am not what you picture in your mind as the “June
Cleaver” of Rickman, Tennessee, but even the Cleaver’s knew that the parents
needed a break from the children every once in a while. I truly adore my
children, but I know my limits. I NEED the children to go to school. They need
time to be away from the house.
Another reason
that I am fascinated with the Duggar’s is how that I have never seen any of
their children unclothed, swearing, or shitting somewhere that was not a
bathroom. I am only the mother of 4 but each of my children has done each one
of these things. In fact, 3 out of 4 still remain only in their underwear when
home, and 2 out of 4 still regularly soil themselves. I do not believe however,
it is an issue of intelligence. I base this on several facts.
First and
foremost, I am their mother. This alone guarantees them at least an average IQ.
Secondly, they are all very witty, even when confronted with shitting in the
yard. For instance, Cooper was on the trampoline last summer, he got off and
pulled down his pants in the driveway and took a dump. This same child has a and
more appropriate vocabulary than most adults. Some of his skills include both
traditional terms such as poke (a brown paper bag) to urban speak such as whip
(car). He is actually remarkably smart and good looking. Those are also other
traits of my children. Alas, my fascination with the Duggar’s continues.
Wyatt and
Matthew have really spent a lot of time this summer with my mother. I am glad
that they are enjoying themselves but I really do miss them when they aren’t
home. They seem to be growing up too fast, but I am so proud of the men that
they are becoming. My Matthew has really stepped it up lately. He has a great
personality, witty humor like his mothers, and a beautiful girlfriend. At his
age, we tend to communicate a lot by text and social media. I can keep up to
date on his whereabouts and goings on through electronic means.
He and his
girlfriend Saige went fishing today. I think they caught the Loch Ness Monster
actually. He posted some pics on FaceBook of the catfish they caught and I was
astonished. First the fact that he had on a shirt, jeans, and boots in 92+
degree weather, and then he was holding a massive catfish. I thought I was
watching some sort of reality show about hillbilly hand fishing at first. Both
he and Saige managed to catch monstrous catfish from a private pond where she
lives (she does not live IN a pond, it is simply on her families property). By
the size of the fish, I would not be surprised if the water level dropped 2
inches when they pulled those monsters out of the water.
Thus
as the end of summer comes, I begin to relax somewhat. I know that soon my
children will be expanding their minds and attending school once again. I hope
they continue to thrive both physically and in their educations. I hope they
understand that during extreme times of stress, we love them as much as
chocolate chip cookie dough Blizzards, and that we can make them disappear just
as fast….
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