Monday, November 25, 2013

Louse Von Bulow and mama's perfect Christmas

          Home from another long day at work only to be met at the door by Louse Von Bulow aka Cooper, in a made for TV movie whine-a-thon. I cannot stand a child that whines (which of course I have several of them) and I truly just wish that they would file their complaint so I could deal with it. Instead they feel as if whining is going to make me more apathetic to their cause. I don’t care. I hate whining.
          I swear ever since our “locust issue” my head has itched off! I even had the assistant director of the daycare to check my head again for any, l_ c _. It’s such a dirty word I cannot even write about it. You know you are a friend when someone can ask you to check their head for bugs. That’s a true friend. That’s someone you can call and ask anything to. That is a good as blood kin.
          Our first snow of the year came today, everyone go get your milk and bread. I swear I get so tired of people racing to the store to get milk and bread every time it flurries. I truly think that the weather men must be getting kickbacks from the bread and milk people because all they have to do is mention precipitation and every old fart in town is at Save a Lot buying up the milk and bread. Fools like me who have yet to rush out into the madness in search of these coveted items, have yet to lose a child to starvation or rickets. Imagine that….
          I truly do love the snow and I feel all childlike when I see the flakes falling down. I want to run and play, and then I realize that I am closer to 40 than 30 and I am morbidly obese, and shouldn’t run without a cardiologist statement. Oh well, so much for that fantasy. I guess I could walk at a brisk pace to the aisle Little Debbie Christmas Cakes are located…that is kind of the same thing, right?
          I only work 3 days this week as it is Thanksgiving. I have full intentions of trying to rest and spend time with my family (except Louse Von Bulow, just kidding). I intend on cooking a turkey and all the trimmings. I am a pretty good cook, as most full figured women are. I will put up our tree and begin our daily ritual of watching a Christmas Story. I don’t know what the appeal of this story is but it is one of my favorite movies and it makes me happy. Ralphie gets his prize and one day, perhaps I will have the Christmas morning that everyone is happy and gets exactly what they want.

          That is why it is a movie. There is always someone that is disappointed and someone who is verbal about being shortchanged. Those are the Christmas mornings that I usually am blessed with. No one realizes how much I do to try and make their Christmas as perfect and happy as I possibly can. Oh well, I’m just the mother, don’t worry about me. I spent my Christmas money on the family size bottle of NIX as Cooper gave me my “present” early…..

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