Maybe I'm not such a scrooge, maybe I'm just jelly....

I know in my last posting I sounded like such a Scrooge and maybe I am. Truth is, this is my favorite time of year and perhaps I’m figuring out that I can’t keep up. When I say keep up, I mean by looking at everyone else’s perfectly decorated shit, it makes me feel incompetent. My tree and decorations look like Pacesetters put it up (no disrespect to Pacesetters as my work looks like their work).

Why does everyone have to put their pictures on Facebook and make me feel like a douche? My poor Charlie Brown Christmas tree and decorations look awful next to the professional looking ones that my friends post. I know that I shouldn’t compare crap but come on….Let up on me guys. I have a lot going on, I can’t be as cool as you all are. I just used a spatula to scrape something off the hardwood floor that wouldn’t come up with the mop. I’m so not in your league. Quit showing me just how incompetent that I really am.

Everyone has their monogrammed wreaths on their front door and my front door barely closes. Their delicious treats laid out for the impromptu guest and if someone comes here unannounced then I hide and be quiet hoping they don’t look in the one uncovered window and see the messy kitchen. I don’t understand how everyone else can do it but I can’t.

I guess the bottom line is I am jealous. I’m jelly of your perfect Pinterest cupcakes and wreaths, your perfectly decorated tree and your ability to entertain guest in a moment’s notice. I am not that woman. I can entertain anyone if they can keep their judgments to themselves as I entertain in my gown. I may eat a bowl of cereal and offer one to you as well.

My seating may or may not have a basket of laundry on it and if the dishwasher is running we will have to use sit closely and use gestures as it is REALLY LOUD. I have worked all my life and have moments that I am proud of, they aren’t as visible as some other things in life and somehow I always manage to focus on the negative. I don’t know why. I AM PROUD OF MY HOME, FAMILY, SUCCESSES AND FAILURES. Most people will not understand why I am proud of my failures but if you think about it, those are lessons learned (usually the hard way).

So I’ll try and organize a little better and keep the laundry caught up if you want to come and visit. I will be proud of my paltry decorations and show them proudly as each piece means something special to me, including the Festivus pole.