Day #1

          NIGHT #1:

We managed to fake our way through the evening. For some reason we watched cartoons and carried on as if they were still here. It’s official, I think we have Stockholm Syndrome.

          Mama has all of our children in Gatlinburg. We are as free as birds with the cage left open and what are we doing? The same things that we would be if the children were in their bedrooms. This is sad. I cry all the time that I would love some time off but what am I doing besides mourning the fact that they aren’t here? I’m confused.

          Jeremy however is much more affected than I am. He spent all afternoon making the birds a ladder made of rope so they could climb in and out of their cage……those birds fucking hate us. They talk about us like Vietnamese manicurists. There is no way those birds will come out of their sanctuary willingly. We have watched these birds for hours, making silly voices and pretending we know what they are saying. Sad, we miss the fighting of the children.

          Bedtime seemed to be the worse. We stayed up til our regular bedtime and I went through and checked all the doors. I briefly thought about going into Matthew’s room and signing into his XBOX LIVE account and screwing around with his reputation. Nothing ruins your swag like your mom giving your friends ammo. I chose to leave his swag alone and went to my bedroom.

          We had all this room in the bed…I was uncomfortable and I could tell that Jeremy was too. We are used to having Charleigh Joe in the middle taking up most of the bed. Now without clear lines of demarcation, it seemed as if we were driving in a huge white blanket of snow and trying to keep it in the road.

          Jeremy and I chose to put pillow in the places she would have occupied and this is where I knew it was serious. Jeremy turned on the movie we watch every night with Charleigh Joe, Brave. Seriously, we watch this movie every night because she wants to, not us. I think he needed some part of our routine to be stable, and deep down I did too. He was just man enough to act on it. I gave him a kiss without acknowledging the movie and told him goodnight as I put on my CPAP mask.

          I waited awhile and looked over, and he had Charleigh Joe’s blanket and Elmo clutched to his chest as he went to sleep. I had intended to do the same thing as soon as I was assured that he was asleep. Asshole. He just beat me to the punch. I guess we are just pussies and miss our screaming, fighting, constantly talking, wonderful kids.

          Our birds seems to be having a domestic dispute so I guess we will have entertainment for the morning. I might add that the female Jane aka Tina climbed on the roof of the cage to get away from Jim aka Ike instead of using the new “rope ladder” Jeremy made for them.  Just sayin…..