It’s almost
1am and I am more awake than a meth head making ice. I have not felt good for the
past couple of days and went to employee health and received some steroids via
injection and I have been cuckoo since. Let me rephrase. I have been feeling
cuckoo but much better ever since.
With
steroids comes the insatiable hunger that combined with my own “natural
appetite” have sent me back to the kitchen in search of those hot damn peanut
butter cookies! This time I was hyper focused and managed to undercook them.
Don’t worry, we will eat them and they will state that they were good. I just
think (in the back of my head) that we could potentially be stricken down with
salmonella.
While I ate
my undercooked cookie and randomly barked from the steroids, I managed to catch
up on my back log of 48 hours on the DVR. I have no idea why I watch all of
that, I won’t even watch the news for goodness sakes but I will watch every
episode of killing and maiming that Lester Holt wants to talk about. He makes it sound as if he WILL name the
killer and they justice WILL be served.
Today was
the first day that the children were out from school for Christmas break. It
really gets hopping around here for these few days. With all of the cooking,
cleaning, and extra people (who have extra dished in their bedrooms, start
extra fights with their siblings, and only bathe when prompted) things can get
extra tense and gamey.
Cooper slapped Charleigh Joe on the back this
evening and I thought she was going to kill him. I recognized the sound of the
slap and slowly ambled my way down the hall to see what happened. I don’t think
he will be doing it again. Jeremy always gets extra tense during this time. He
is on edge and I hate that he feels this way. I don’t know If my overwhelming
guilt has something to do with the increase this year, but I am a guilty woman.
I have been scouring different sites looking for a dog. I hesitate to call it a
replacement dog as Oprah could never be replaced. I call it a rebound
relationship that I probably will regret but will do it anyway. I cannot
describe how much this has all affected us. We just seem so sad….
The idea to
get another dog has come to us from several different places and I think
everyone is on board except for me. I feel it may be too soon. I don’t want to disrespect
the relationship that Oprah had with our family, but I also want everyone to
have that love and happiness back in their life. I want them to have a dog for
Christmas morning, I want their faces to light up like on a Christmas coffee
commercial.
Nonetheless,
I am the one holding out. I feel it would be like taking a date to your spouse’s
funeral. Tacky. I am also the very one scouring the sites looking for an animal
that looks like “the one”. I am afraid that I am making a mistake. The 2 dogs
that have ever been ours have chosen us, what if dogs are like people and they
have a honeymoon period or sell themselves as something that they are not?
What if I choose
a slut or a dog that is just with us for the money or status? Then we are stuck
with the offending Kardashian. I can’t make any decisions right now. The steroids
are talking….I should not be allowed to make any major personal decisions,
drive heavy machinery, or have my browser history searched. I’m not able to
keep myself from looking at crazy stuff. Speaking of crazy, has anyone ever saw
a pic of the Caucasian Shepherd? This thing is HUGE!
What the
crap does this thing eat? Whole chickens or small children? It is massive,
sorry about the pic of the girl but I needed to provide a reference for his
size. This was another find tonight as I looked up crazy crap.
Steroids + Christmas
stuff +grief= odd searches on your browser history. Don’t judge me…..
By the way,
I hope my good friend “Brent” is feeling better. He works with me at the
hospital that I work at and is having some surgery to help” improve his
performance”. I hope you get to come home as soon as you are able and the rest
of your stay is comfortable. Ed and I talked about you on Thursday, he said he
was gonna call, I said to tell you HELLO.
If you’re up
on steroids or for any other reason, perhaps we could chat and talk about my
dog issues…
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