The Post-Christmas Algorithm

          So Santa came after all. After the year I have had, I did have a backup plan. It started with our smorgasbord of breakfast food and ended in a wave of paper. I think everyone was happy or at least seemed satisfied. When you have 4 children, you will settle for satisfied.

          After breakfast, Jeremy and I immediately set about to clean up and remove all evidence of Christmas for this year. I have had enough. I  rearranged the furniture and took the extra leaf out of the kitchen table. We have snacked on pork products all day. I cooked 3lbs of bacon, 3lbs of sausage links, 3lbs of sausage patties, sausage gravy, chocolate gravy, and biscuits. We will have cloven hooves by morning.  

          I was so exhausted as I did not sleep last night. I have no idea why I had the bout of insomnia that I did. I sat up and watched stupid You Tube videos until the kids got up. I really hope that tonight is not a repeat of last night. I need my sleep. Others need for me to have my sleep, I promise you that.

          I did take a short nap after all of the cleaning was completed and I had showered. It was nice. I felt clean and sleepy and I also convinced Charleigh Joe to lie down with me. When I awoke, I had a bit of a chill and when I came out of my bedroom, I put on an extra shirt. Jeremy immediately jumped up and went straight to the thermostat and adjusted it. How sweet of him. He said he had been cold as well.

          I felt the house getting warmer and Jeremy seemed to get much more comfortable in his attire (which consisted of only a pair of shorts). When the heat continued to run, I questioned him about the settings. He admitted he had set it to 73 degrees! I SCREAMED 73 DEGREES! I CAN’T AFFORD THAT! TURN IT DOWN NOW, PUT ON A SHIRT.

          It’s amazing how love can transcend all except for an electric bill. I cannot believe though how he would even consider turning the heat up to 73 degrees. That is absurd. I cannot even fathom a situation that I would turn up the heat to 73 degrees, how would we pay for that? I would get a burn barrel for the living room first. I would set one of the beds on fire like Farrah Fawcett, or we would all hang out in the laundry room with the dryer on (that’s 6 people, 4 of which are children, in a closet) before I turned the heat up to 73 degrees.

          My poor mother worked today. I hope she has had a good day at work. I’m still on call and hope to remain at home for the duration of my call. I hope I sleep better tonight, warm and cozy at 69 degrees in my bed. I hope Santa is resting his poor self now, because he has had it worse than I have.

          I go back to work tomorrow, and hopefully life will get back to normal. I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and Kwanza.