My
week in review has been quite a week. I took off last week in respect for Oprah
and now I’m ready to get back online and get the dialogue back on. I had
several blog worthy encounters this week starting with my “indecent proposal”
at the Monterey Hardees….
I was
waiting in the parking lot of the Monterey Hardees one evening last week in
order to meet one of my friends who bought some Mary Kay from me. I use the
Monterey Hardees as it is easily accessible, right off the interstate, and
everyone knows where it is! It is a hotbed of activity. I was there to deliver
the cosmetics and I was early, so I just pulled into a parking spot and used
this time to just be by myself, in the quiet….which is a special to a woman
with 4 children and hasn’t had an unwitnessed bowel movement since her first
child was born….
As I was
waiting, I noticed a particular truck make 2 turns through the parking lot and
never going through the drive thru. On the third pass through, he backed his
truck in right next to my car and turned off his ignition. Out of curiosity, I
looked over at the gentlemen sitting in the driver’s side of the truck. He was
well dressed in a suit and he waved at me. Out of instinct, I waved back. He motioned
me to roll down the window. I mulled it over in my mind thinking that he couldn’t
attack me from inside his truck and if he had a gun, it WOULD penetrate the
glass anyway…..
I made the decision
to roll down the window and he quietly ask me if I was meeting someone…..in a
low and husky voice.He was looking for a “friend” for an hour. When I realized
what he said I replied, “Yes, I’m here to sell someone a gun.” Wow, me a prostitute? I really thought my
makeup looked nice, not prostitute-ish. My retort covered all the elements; I
was not here to sell sex (although flattering), and that I had a firearm and
was not an easy target. Had he gone
about it another way, I may have been 100$ richer. All he had to do was drop
his wallet and let a Benjamin fall out of his wallet and ask about Satin Hands….He
may have left happier as well. All of
you who judge, remember that Christmas is next week.
I happened
to run into one of my friends that I had not seen in quite a while and I
invited her to breakfast and conversation. I knew that it would lift my spirits
just as much or more than being propositioned for sex by a stranger….Angie and
I had breakfast at IHOP and discussed our past few months and we exchanged
tales ranging from how to raise chickens to the latest bullshit that any or all
of our 4 children have put us through. I have to believe that all children do
stupid crap because otherwise it makes my children exceptional, and not in that
“good” way.
Angie and I had
the best time talking and some delicate flower next to us interrupted us and
told her that she just couldn’t eat while we talked about certain topics…Like I
give a shit. We are nurses and mothers, all we talk about is gross stuff. How about
not listening to other peoples conversations, what are you 12 years old?
Whatever, I really wanted to pull her crinkly red hair out but decided it was
too close to the kitchen and it wasn’t IHOP’s fault.
After IHOP I
decided to work off some of my hostilities at Walmart. Nothing like a little
push and shove action in the toy aisle to get your aggressisons out. I still
had some last minute shopping to do and I felt like I could handle whatever
that cesspool had to offer.
After an hour and a half, I noticed
that I had passed a young man too many times not to be concerned. Finally, as I
was squatted down looking at electric razors (for my newly acquired moustache)
he approached me.
I stood up
and he said, “Ma’am, is there any way that you could give me a dollar or two
for gas to get home?” I looked him up and down and he was impeccably dressed in
new and designer clothes. I told him, “You’re dressed better than I am, if you
knew you didn’t have any money, why did you come to a store?” I told him that I
would not give him any money unless he was willing to stand there listen to my
lecture on responsibility.
He declined
my offer and went on to the next person and ask for money. This week has had its
up’s and down’s but I seem to have rubbed some the wrong way… and some the
right way ;) Either way, it is a small victory when I can make it through a
week without going to jail.
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