My stay at home pirate

          As I write this as my favorite scene from Magic Mike is on, you ladies know what I’m talking about. My trip is in the morning. I am so nervous, I have shit 40 times today. I am busy trying to make last minute decisions and plans and my husband has spent 60% of the day cleaning and 40% watching parakeet videos on You Tube.

          Yes parakeet videos, as he is determined to help our birds to find “their voice”. He walks around cleaning and doing laundry with the birds on his shoulder. My own “stay at home pirate”. He’s actually brilliant, I have seen the effort he has put into training these birds. Apparently they must be stupid. Great, stupid birds and a committed pirate, not a good combination.

          Jeremy has gone to town to take the kids to mama’s house because we have to leave so early in the morning. I don’t know what I will do without them. Perhaps I can eat my dinner while it is still hot, sleep until I wake up, no laundry or fights. I will be totally miserable.

          I have never been away from them like this. My mother will be ready to commit a felony in order to get away from them. She has no idea what she is in for….or maybe she does, who knows.

          I’m about to start packing and finish watching Matteo in the sleaziest role I can even imagine. He actually makes YOU feel dirty just watching him. It’s a good dirty though. This movie reminds me to going to the theatre with Tammy and Erica, two of my friends. It is a fond memory, too bad they are sluts just not as bad as Jeri Lynn…..