Nipples? Really?

Day 2 of Captivity

            We slept like logs the first night as a combination of stress letdown and chemicals. Last night was not as great. Jeremy was ill after supper was served and I encouraged him to lie down. I suspect he had a case of too much company-itis. I don’t blame him, it’s a lot to take in.

            We spent the day running errands with my cousin Stef. We drove to Burlington and saw my cousin Melissa. Today we plan on travelling to town by ourselves to do some shopping. I tell ya, I could do some shopping on the side of the road around here. There are some Pinterest ideas just waiting to happen. There is a guy with a heavy wooden door with 4 glass panels just sitting out by the curb for the trash man and then we saw one of the old wooden floor model TV’s. Someone could really use that for a TV stand if they don’t already have one. These northerners probably never heard of that. When the console TV goes out, you just stack the new TV on top of the Console and use it as a stand. You just have to find a new place for your porcelain kittens and Precious Moments figurines.

            The house I am staying in is that of my cousin Stef and her family. We have the master suite given to us by them for our disposal. Let me say, the master bed Is HEAVEN. She has taken such care to make us at home and apparently she is a bed slut just like me. She calls it a “bed snob” but the truth is we would do anything for nice linens, so that makes us sluts.

            Last night in the middle of my slumber, I felt a presence toward the back of my head. I turned in the darkness and was promptly attacked by a cat I could not identify. I not so politely shoved the beast from the bed, but lost some epidermis and blood in the end. I find that cats like these are bastards. They wait until you are asleep and then attack a slumbering victim only to raise their own self esteem. Bastards!

            There are also 2 very large greyhounds at this residence (as indicated at every exit by instructions for care of the dogs). Whew, they are totally different in personality. The female named Shelby is snobby and moody, while the male named Friend Lee is loveable and very friendly to everyone. I will have to say for the record, I have seen them BOTH do things to a stuffed Winnie the Pooh bear and a NEMO stuffed animal that no child’s toy should have to go through. I will give no further information because I will not victimize the stuffed friends, but you get the point.

            We are still alive. I say this because those of you who know how I feel about traveling may wonder if I am truly writing this or this is an imposter. It’s me, missing my kids, but having a good time. I’m about to go and hit up this place’s Goodwill and see what treasures I can find. Hopefully I will sign in later and let you know some good news.

            Oh, and on a side note yesterday Stef, Jeremy and I went to Starbucks. They ask for your name to add to your cup. They are northerners and I am giver her my name “Neville”. She writes something on the cup and then looks back up at me questioningly, and asks again. I said Neville like Devil. I look at the cup and she has written Nipple…..Yes, I’m that as well.