Well I can’t
sleep. Whether it is the racing of thoughts through my head or more probably
the realization of yet another flaw I cannot tell. It has come to my attention that I am shaped
like a T Rex. Large body with disproportionate arms. I saw one of the Tyrannosaurus
Rex hates push-ups T shirts years ago but never really thought that much about
it until lately. It seems that I am a T Rex reincarnated, and we know this
does not end well.
Because of
his genetic flaws the Tyrannosaurus Rex does not fair very well. Sure he is a bad ass for those who don’t
realize that he can’t particularly use his upper body at all, which was a high
percentage of other dinosaurs and unfortunately brains have developed faster
than the T Rex’s arms and I am at a loss. I am going to list a few things that
the TR hates:
1.
Push ups
2.
Belts
3.
Urinalysis collection
4.
Folding sheets
5.
Sweeping and/or mopping
6.
High shelves
7.
Arm wrestling
8.
Rock, paper, scissors (only 3 fingers)
9.
Washing window
Obviously the list could go on
and on as you get the idea. Big body, abnormally small arms make for a
nightmare in so many things but especially a finding a fitted blazer. Now, this may not sound like much to you but
it is something that really upsets me.
Why should I be given yet
another hardship in trying to fit clothes to this misshapen body? I’ve got
sticks like a Rockette, tits like a porn star, and the arms and torso of the
mighty king of the dinosaurs. How does that seem fair?
Yet just another example of how life is tilted....
