Why don't they just GOOGLE it?

          “Are birds who eat eggs considered cannibals”? How the fuck am I supposed to know! Why and how do children’s minds operate? I get ask a billion silly questions every day and since they are constantly asking, I assume that I am supposed to know the answer.

          Whoever has the How to properly raise a child manual, I would ask that you please return it to the library so that some of us can peruse it for a few quick answers. I begin this blog with a certain degree of sarcasm (a HUGE amount) as apparently everyone else has the book and utilizes it quite often. I have made lots of mistakes in my parenting career and I feel as if I am alone. Maybe it’s because I never got the book.

          I never got a manual 18 years ago when I was pregnant. I don’t know if it was because I was a teenage mom having an illegitimate child or if perhaps the Health Department was out of them. I say Health Department because that is where every girl of my status would go. My status would read: teenage, pregnant, in school, no relationship with the father, and below poverty level. I was really a catch!

 I see people who have such stringent, black and white ways of dealing with their children and I often wonder if I’m doing the right thing by them. Perhaps I should be more inflexible with my decision and rule making. I just don’t see the point in potentially starting conflict when it’s not that big of a deal. I don’t know all of the answers, I don’t know why they keep asking me shit. We have internet, GOOGLE IT!

          I’m the kind of parent who let them watch TV, play video games (including ones not rated for children!), drink cokes, and I have even let them all curse at some point in their lives. Everyone has at some time lashed out with their words and I’m no one to punish my children for doing so. My only rules are: You must use it in the appropriate context (I don’t want any dumbass remarks, they have had plenty of examples from me), and it must be a slip up and no pre-planned profanity is allowed.

 I am doing the best I can and until I get access to that fucking manual, I will continue my style of raising kids. I have worked in healthcare so long that I have begun to integrate some of my nursing skills into my parenting skills. I have had some success, as I almost have one to age 18! For those of you who are interested….

          Here are some of my cross trained/modified rules:

1.     Sometimes there isn’t a reason why, but we still have to fix/do it.

2.     You can’t come in drunk.

3.     Your bowel movements and/or habits ARE my business.

4.     I hear everything but only react when I feel necessary.

5.     You can’t go out and smoke.

6.     Bathe daily.

7.     When I say “I’ll check on it”, that means I will. It may not be right now but I will do it. Don’t ask me again.

8.     Be nice. You can be direct and to the point but always be nice.

9.     Don’t go into other peoples rooms.

10.                        You can’t sleep all day.

11.                         It’s not time yet for your ___________.

12.                        There ARE set visiting hours…..

13.                        It’s probably not as bad as you think.

14.                        You will not getting your linen changed daily.

15.                        It’s hard for me to believe you are too sick to go to _____ when you are crushing candy right in front of me.

16.                        I’m not your maid, or your waitress.

17.                        Pain is part of life.

18.                        Close the door if you aren’t fully dressed.

19.                        I didn’t ask you if you wanted to, I told you we HAD to.

20.                        I care about every aspect of you and your life. If I didn’t, there would be no rules. Please help me to help you prepare for life after discharge from this facility.

I’m like every other parent in the world, except my rules may be different. We all want our children to succeed and form responsible, capable adults. All families operate differently, and I hope that my form of parenting is preparing my children for the world and preparing me for their eventual departure. I love being a mom, I just never realized how hard it is.

Right now my family is facing a very hard time in regards to one of my children. I am doing what he has ask me to do. Whatever the outcome, I still see and feel the pain that my child goes through. I would happily fix it if I could, but nonetheless I cannot. The only thing I can do is continue to love my children unconditionally, try to make the best decisions for my family, and try to stay out of jail.

My blogs are my way of releasing my feelings whether they are positive, negative, funny, or sad. I intend by no means anyone to become angry or feel as if anything that I write is pointed or directed at any specific person(s).

farrahjoe.blogspot.com is my place. Please don’t read it if you don’t want to know how I feel or if you could potentially be offended. If my opinion isn’t valid to you, stay off my page. It really is that simple. For all of the readers who continue to read and give feedback, food for thought, and encouragement, I thank you. You have given me more than I could ever ask for. I get to express my opinion and make myself giggle. I’m so glad we are friends…..return the fucking child raising manual please!!