On the eve
of an actual scheduled school day, the light begins to shine in my dear
husbands eyes. I can see the life slowly returning to him as each hour ticks
by. Soon it will be bedtime, and when the sun comes up I have no doubt he will
be the first parent in line to drop off our children. He can spend all day
doing exactly what he wants to.
This past Friday,
we were all chatting about how close in age that we all are on our team. I keep
my age quiet. I do not discuss it. I am one of those people who do not want to
compare. One of my friends, we will call him “Tim” randomly guessed my age at 5
years older than what I really am….and then went on to say that I looked my
age. Everyone knows when guessing a woman’s age, you guess under what you
really think by at least 7-10 years. The fact that he thinks I look 5 years
older than what I am makes the situation worse.
So now I am
old...I’ll add that to the list of crap that I have to feel bad about. I
immediately let him know that if any cases came up he would need to let me know
ahead of time as I was not supposed to drive after dark. My son would have to
bring me. I know now that he ask my mother my true age when he saw her. I’m
sure he feels bad. I am devastated.
Now with my
aged face, I return to work tomorrow…I hope that “Tim” and I can resolve this
issue or I can at least forgive him for the hurt he has caused me. I’m gonna
need to have my ass kissed just for a while over this one. I really think what he did would be the equivalent
of me guessing he was impotent. That was very ugly of me, I’m sorry. Just saying that it REALLY hurt my feelings. I
don’t have anything against aging, I just want to stay on schedule and not
ahead of schedule.
Ike and Tina
have been involved in a 2 day long domestic dispute. I feel as if it is has
something to do with the mating box as it appears he keeps trying to force her
into it. If I spoke bird I think he would be saying, “Just the tip, just for a
second, just to see how it feels”. She has whipped his ass more time than I care
to count. He doesn’t seem to be getting
the message. He’s not a quitter, I can tell that for sure.
In light of
my advanced aging, I am considering a diet….I am at the biggest weight I have
ever been except while I was gestating. I am miserable. I just realized that I have
a free gym membership at the University that I attend. I did not realize that
all full-time students have a free membership. I don’t think just having the
membership will help one to lose weight. I remember 100lbs ago thinking how fat
I was. Little did I know, I was a hottie!
So now the
journey will begin. First in my head until I get the nerve to actually go to
the gym. I hate new shit that isn’t fun. It puts me at a disadvantage, both
physically and psychologically to go to the gym. I feel as if I am on display, I
am the newest exhibit. Just being the new kid is hard. Now I’m the fat new kid.
I have successfully lost a large amount of
weight before. I did it through diet and exercise. I actually was pretty fit
for my size. I clocked a 9 minute mile once or twice. I would love to just be
fit again. I just hate the perceived stares and getting the nerve to start. I
am engulfed in routines, this would be just another addition.
When a fat
person goes to the gym, the indecision starts at home. What to wear…. Do you
wear shorts and potentially be embarrassed at your legs (mine are horribly
scarred and blindingly white) or do you wear pants and sweat even more? We have
all seen that fat person at the gym who is wearing pants and from the back it
appears as if their ass is eating their pants? No one wants to be that guy.
What kind of shirt? One that is big enough to not be clingy and long enough to
cover your pannus, but not too long as to appear to be a gown. These are things
that thin people do not even consider.
Then comes
the actual workout part. As deconditioned as I am, I may as well start out with
the senior citizens (as “Tim” guesses me about their age) except that they are
probably more fit than I am. I hope that I can at least keep up appearances
while they are looking at me. I actually enjoy working out, but dread the
stares and awkwardness of it all. It just takes some getting used to.
Diet is
another problem that I battle. I am a HUGE Mountain Dew fan. I drink a fair
amount of product, and that alone contributes to my size. I hate when you
modify your diet, and someone points it out. I don’t need for anyone to be
counting the calories on my plate and verbalizing the change. I HATE THAT! I know exactly what will happen, I will go
into work tomorrow and get something different than I normally eat and someone
will remark about it. I don’t need a fucking nutrition lesson, I know what I should
and should not do. Being fat, I should obviously avoid my previous diet.
The moral of
the story is when dealing with people, never guess a woman’s age unless you
give her at least 7-10 years under. You should avoid eye contact with any fat
person in the gym as they stressed to the max. We are embarrassed enough just
showing up and hoping our shirt is long enough, and finally don’t remark about
what is on someone’s plate. These tips will help everyone to live a much longer
and happier life. It is hard enough in this world to exist, let alone do it
with the guilt of over-guessing a friends age….”Tim”, you really hurt my
feelings.
No comments:
Post a Comment