Wednesday, May 20, 2015

We know what you're thinking...

      





 Busy, busy, busy I have been. Between work, home, and kids, I’m just about to lose my appetite…yeah right… I was talking with my oldest son yesterday while we were eating supper. He is all boy. He doesn’t like for his food to touch or mix, he eats one thing at a time, and I let him in on a little secret about most men.
       Most men will only poop at home. I know this because I have lived amongst many of them throughout my years. They like to strip off naked and relax, apparently it helps with the process.  When I confronted him, he was stunned that I could know this information.
       I always find it confusing when I see men eating in our local Hardees for breakfast. Their gravy and biscuit combined with coffee has the potential to be fatal. So how these old me go in there and consume pure rocket fuel and not have the option to go in public…maybe that’s why they always get a to-go cup…It’s not like you’re doing something wrong, a bathroom was designed especially for elimination. Why men think that that is so crazy I will never know. 
       The biggest deal about it shouldn’t be the fact that you are pooping in a men’s bathroom, it should be with the guy who stood at the urinal long enough to notice you WERE pooping. That’s the weird guy.  Of course it doesn’t bother me, I haven’t been to the restroom by myself in over 18 years. I could be a lot more productive if they had Wi-Fi and electrical plug in’s in the toilet, I wouldn’t even mind having meetings or conversations in the bathroom with others who are eliminating. I’m not embarrassed, everybody poops. I can’t be the only one that considers this a waste of productive time.
       When I say productive time, I don’t mean crushing candy, or playing words with friends. I mean making lists, paying bills, checking emails, making appointments. These are things one can do while “in your office”. 

       Matthew was amazed that I knew so much about the habit of others, especially men. I am a very observant person.  I like to notice similarities and patterns I guess. 

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