Yesterday was a panicky type day as I
had nothing to do until a certain time and then everything hit the fan. Luckily
I had some great friends to help me out. One of those friends, we’ll call her
Lindsey brought up my subject to blog about. What makes a product snob? Such as
why are some people not satisfied unless they have a certain brand or type of
product, let’s say…..toilet paper?
As we were finishing up our marathon
of activities last night, we went to the bathroom (group bathroom with multiple
stalls, not like high school shit) and I heard her bitching about the toilet
paper. It really took me for a loop because her favorite jacket has a HUGE hole
in the elbow and she is a TP snob? Really? So I had to ask and she replied that
yes, she hated cheap toilet paper where her finger was through the paper when
she was finished wiping.
I have used a similar institutional
type paper all my life and I know exactly how much pressure you can apply
before masturbating in a public bathroom. “Lindsey” must really be giving it a
harsh pass if she can break through this type shit. Her point led me to start
thinking about other things that are common public bathroom issues.
A bathroom issue that pisses me off
is definitely the hoverer who pisses all over the toilet because their ass is
too precious to SIT on the toilet. I cannot begin to express the rage that this
has caused me in the past to unknowingly sit down in a puddle of piss?. Why even
bother using a public restroom if they are that dangerous that you can’t use a
TP circle around it or a toilet seat cover? Why must you ruin an entire stall
because your precious ass may get pregnant or diseased or whatever you think
can happen??
Men have problems shitting in public
bathrooms. They will abruptly end a shopping trip they have insisted on
accompanying you on because they’re coffee kicked in, or won’t go until they
have had their daily shit. This is the same creature that will get up at the
ass crack of dawn to go fishing and shit off the side of the boat in the
daylight. Using a public restroom is for expulsion of urine and feces, it’s no
secret that everyone poops.
Women are a bit more relaxed about bathroom
practices. They will feign lactose intolerance or sick and sit in the bathroom
pooping while crushing candy or reading emails. We tend to get quieter when
there is a larger crowd but we still handle our business. I don’t know why after all these years that
this is still such an issue. Everybody poops.
Children will readily use a public
toilet and manage to touch every single thing in it if you are not diligent and
careful. I insist on accompanying my children to the restroom, not because of
freaks and pedophiles but because I just know they won’t wash their hands after
touching everything. The transistion from when they readily will and will not
use a public restroom for #2 happens around age 12 in my experience. There is
something about that age that causes some body censor to go off and cannot
allow them to defecate in a public area.
I could go on and on about this
subject, “Lindsey” I hope you don’t mind that I used your issue to give me a
platform on which to speak…..TP snob.
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