Strawberry margarita's and innuendos.

          As the work day was ending, I was walking out with some coworkers and one of them mentioned that he was going out for dinner with another coworker. Two men having dinner on a Friday night….It may be completely innocent but if someone orders a strawberry margarita, I’m not going to ask any questions.

          There are just some things that heterosexual men should not do as it alludes to a different preference. Ordering a strawberry margarita is one of those things. Another thing that could be perceived wrong is when men wear unisex clothing that is WAY too tight (which we also saw as we were leaving). This dude was wearing scrubs that were at least 2 sizes too small and he had more nuts showing than a pecan pie. I couldn’t even make eye contact with him. Who let him walk out of the house like that because the creases in the uniform told me that perhaps his mom or granny took the time to iron them to the point they could have stood alone.

          I just don’t understand why people choose to participate in random acts of weirdness. I just don’t think that I could sit quietly as a friend wore the nut hugger pants or ordered a girly drink. This is WHY we have friends. They are the ones who tell us that we need to get our moustache waxed and warn us against perming our hair. Friends and peer feedback is essential to a “normal” life.

          Now I really don’t feel like fielding comments that I have something against homosexuals. That is ludicrous, I love all people regardless of trivial things such as sexual preference. I do however take great offense to a stranger wearing a pair of pants that clearly shows off his franks and beans. I cannot work with that. I cannot communicate with him, or vice versa a woman with the “camel toe”.

          The men ordering girly drinks just invalidates their manliness. It’s like wear. Don’t do it, I form opinions about you like you squat to pee and you wear clear fingernail polish and lip gloss. It makes me uncomfortable in the same way that you would feel uncomfortable if I were to start dipping Copenhagen. I know my boundaries. Please know your boundaries and we will equally respect them.

          That being said, those who go against the grain make our life colorful and give us things to talk about as we gather in groups. Everyone gossips, everyone finds a way to justify the act in their own mind without it being harmful. A friend tells you that you have a hanger out your nose, or have a random hair that is touching. An acquaintance tells everyone else until your friend over hears and tells you. It’s the circle of life…..