Oh, much ado about nothing

          I hope that I’m not the only one to say that I don’t give a shit about how some guy from Duck Dynasty has to say about homosexuality…. Apparently that is all that has been in the news (per my husband) and reaffirms why I try not to watch any. I totally agree that everyone has a right to their opinion and freedom of speech, but when does a company, McDonalds for example, let their front lineman have a neck tattoo that says foot long? They don’t.

          A&E (in my opinion) are exercising their rights over a contracted employee who may have potentially harmed their bankroll, and have suspended the talker.  It is their right to protect their own interests. As far as his beliefs, if you don’t believe in homosexual sex, then don’t engage in it, and that’s a fact Jack!

          Moving on, I had a desire for peanut butter kiss cookies (as a lot of heavy set, stressed people do)and as soon as I got home, I set about to make my dreams a reality. Just as I had begun my process, the tenants figured out what I was doing and stood around me like a dogs around a trash can. Casually my husband handed the youngest a Hershey kiss. I looked at him and told him, “Great, now she’s gonna stay.”

          I made the cookies and set my timer. Apparently I must be something like my mother as I managed to burn the damn things. My poor mother burned everything she ever tried to cook. If she ever had tried to poison us, the truth is that we probably consumed enough charcoal to overcome the attempts. She would probably say that our oven didn’t work appropriately. That may be true. I will not rule that out as a cause of our “dark years”, but I will point out that the oven she has now is not the one from our youth and we still consume a fair amount of charcoal.

 Talk about disappointment, I can’t even eat a whole batch of cookies to make me feel better. I just want to go to bed now. Yes, I realize that 5:15pm may be a little early by most people’s standards but who am I to care? I’m the Vice President of the Neville Dynasty and my President will second my motion if I just give the signal.

          Oh, I wish I could be interviewed by GQ….The things that I would have to talk about. I could give them the REAL stories. I would tell ones with substance that other people could identify with and give real advice that could be utilized in real situations. Who doesn’t want to know how to utilize Sam’s Club to feed the children their after school snacks, a million ways to cook with Spam, and how children can ruin any TV with a simple magnet. That’s what we should be talking about!

          Until GQ calls, I guess I will just share my secrets with you. It’s probably better that way anyway. I don’t know if I’m ready for mainstream anyway.