I guess mama did know best...

                        Oh the days of floor nursing…how I remember and still feel it every day. I do not have any idea how my mother is still doing it. The very act of taking care of more than one patient actually has the same effect on me as having a mouthful of coins. It is getting worse for every nurse on every floor, every day as patients are sicker and staffing is tighter.

            I have officially turned into an old lady. I ache and hurt, I constantly complain to myself or anyone who will make eye contact with me. I have tried every over the counter pain medication pill, cream, patch, etc. and if there were a suppository, I’d give it a shot. Just like Ralphie on A Christmas Story, my personal preference is for Bio freeze but it’s pretty expensive so I usually get the generic named something stupid like Equatofreeze (Wal Mart).

            I feel like my career of taking care of others has ruined me both physically and emotionally... I remember when my mother would come home from work and wasn’t interested in our aches and pains and her generic response was “take some Tylenol, take a bath, and go to bed”. That cures most things as we lived through to adulthood. Also the fact that we consumed enough charcoal to keep any poisons at bay helped. We’ll just say that she was easily “distracted” while cooking, now granted it’s probably because she was breaking up a fight between me and my siblings.

            I now understand those feelings of “I can’t listen to you whine anymore” that I’m sure that she must have felt when we came to her with our petty complaints. I don’t wish to be bothered either when I’m sure that I feel worse than they do.                                                                                                                  When people enter the doctor’s office or hospital, they have an expectation of the care that they SHOULD receive... It is often times NOT the care they do receive.

            A lot of people remember the days that you WERE GIVEN a bath, a back rub, saw your family doctor, etc. Now you’re lucky to if you get a bath, see a doctor, and get a sleeping pill. Things like back rubs are now a thing of the past, we pay for that shit on the outside. Just pretend that the hospital has the same services as a federal prison with better healthcare and the fact you can sign out if you want to.    

            Seriously, nurses are so overwhelmed with dealing with the basics of actual nursing care there is no room for extras. Nurses and nurses’ aides are the over looked population of public servants. Everyone wants to thank a police officer, firefighter, or teacher but no one wants to thank the one who saves your life. I know what you’re thinking, they get paid soooo much.

 Bullshit. Teachers starting salary in my state is much more than a new graduate registered nurse. It’s not really that much when you consider that a police officer wouldn’t wipe a stranger’s ass for what we make. Just saying that ALL public servants need recognition.

            I think the hardest part of dealing with direct patient care is dealing with the family members of the ill. They can be the greatest part of your day, or your worst nightmare. There are many different categories of difficult families and I would like to go over a few of the most notable:

The never show up’s, the hoverers, the know it all’s, the impaired, and the smart asses, I will try to break it down for you.

The never show up’s: A family that never show up until the day your patient is to be discharged and they want to see the doctor, are unsatisfied with their care, question every decision and are at the station wanting to talk to you constantly, but didn’t show up when mama was having surgery.

The Hoverer’s:  A family that is constantly at the nurses station whether with a valid need or not. They are often somehow associated with the medical field and want to show you they are one of your “kind” and know the lingo. They are known to come into other patient’s rooms to hunt you down because they have thought of something else to ask you that really could have waited.

The know it all’s: A family of “educated” folk who may or may not have at least a LPN in the distant family. This family member educates the whole family in what is the “right” way that mama’s nurse SHOULD be doing. There is usually at least 50 or so that are tail-gating somewhere in the vicinity of the hospital.

The Impaired: A family who has problems of their own. Their hospitalized family member usually has a condition that is very “painful” and makes them very “anxious”. There first order of business is usually to make sure that their family member will have pain and anxiety medication as a first order of business. They often are parents or spouses of the patient….there are also the occasions where you take care of the impaired family member more than the actual patient. This population has a high rate of “transferring or sharing” their medications with your patient.

The smart-asses: This could be a combination of all of the above family members and can be one of the hardest of manage because they are angry right off the gun. They are outright defensive and don’t hesitate to ask for the nurse in charge. They are often belligerent, impaired, stupid, and mobile making them hard to get away from. They are used to bullying their way to the top. They are assholes.

            Every ache and pain, every memory I have earned through direct patient care. It is a valuable tool as you learn time management, customer service, and dispute resolution….oh yeah, and some nursing. I am so thankful for my years of service at the bedside, my body is thankful for the new line of nursing that I am privileged to be a part of and I understand now why my mother reacted the way that she did. Now every time my children gripe and complain I tell them the exact same thing she did, take a bath, a Tylenol, and go to bed. Not bad advice after all.