Jeremy and I have been painting the kitchen and living room as the walls are dirty from the floor up to around 4 feet high which is surprisingly the same heights as our 3 youngest children. I wonder if....I would rather go to jail than paint. I would rather go to prison than remove wallpaper.

I despise painting but it can really freshen up a room. I cannot get it through my head that despite the fact I really try to keep these children clean, the walls get dirty.  Dirty walls MUST mean dirty kids. There is no other explanation.

I must be a failure. I will add that to the list right behind I cannot make homemade biscuits(not good ones anyway), I cannot fold a fitted sheet ( I believe only witches can), I cannot order a fancy coffee, etc.

I will never get the whole scented candle and fancy coffee trend. Don't get me wrong, I drink one every now and then but the way in which that franchise took off was nuts. Every young, trendy person in the world was ordering nonfat, soy, tall shit and I had no idea how to do that. I just go to McD and order a fancy coffee there where they use terms like large and coffee.

 I don't remember bottled water til around 2000? Whats up with that? It made its appearance around the millennium when the original "Doomsday Preppers" made their appearance. I had an aunt who had a shed full of food and water. I will never understand that. She had flashlights and batteries, everything you could possibly think of, even scented candles. I bet she is still eating canned carrots.

 I had an old flame tell me once that if women did not exist, scented candle would not exist and every now and then I think about that. He was right. The only explanation that I can think of is that women react to smells differently than men. Otherwise nothing would be scented.

 I am not a fan of scented candles, lotions, potions, etc. I don't feel the need to smell Fresh Linen or Cinnamon Rolls emanating from my living room or dining room, unless some bitch is folding clothes or cooking a dessert.

I went and got my nails done and got waxed. I'm going through some sort of weird phase where I'm developing adult onset acne combined with a full beard. It really helps throw people off of your actual age. That combined with my weight issue has really thrown off my game. At least I could look decent and "have such a pretty face". I guess I'll have to rely on my "good personality" until then.

The woman who does my nails was asking how old I was, I replied "old enough to not answer." This only lead her to make me guess her age. Now, this is a bullshit question as Asian people do not age. She could be 104 for all I know, but she looks good. Not a wrinkle one. Great. Flawless skin, no wrinkles, a tight body, can talk about others right to their face without having to say "Bless your heart", another thing to add to my failure list.

I've decided that given the choice, I would sport a Fu Manchu moustache if my face would just clear up.  I love getting pampered but you know the whole time they are talking about you in Asian. I say Asian because I don't know their origin and I would think it rude to ask.

The have their license up and it may say MeeKu Hukaweei and they go by Amy. I don't know but they sure can do nails. It makes me so uncomfortable though to know that you are the subject of conversation makes you so paranoid. You start to wonder what is so notable that they just can't stand not jabbering back and forth with each other. They can't even wait until they get to the break room or you leave. I'll see them in another 2 weeks and eventually maybe I will catch on.

I have a busy day at work planned tomorrow. I hope it goes as well. Maybe in the morning I'll stop and get me one of those fancy coffee's to get me going.

Just as a side note, please settle an argument. My oldest son, Matthew and I disagree on the best drum solo and drop. Please leave your votes in the comments section:
1.  Night Ranger- Sister Christian
2.  Rush-  Tom Sawyer