Where SHOULD one wear a fur coat?

So, do you have that one piece of jewelry or clothing that you have for that "one" occasion. The one that never comes up?

I am the proud owner of a full length mink coat, courtesy of one of my best friends cousin's divorce. Let me rephrase, my friends cousin was divorcing his wife and she must have been fat too. She had good taste and he took her fur coat to be an ass. He took it to his cousin, my friend, for her dogs to sleep on.

She immediately though of me (because I'm so damn classy) to bring this coat to. 

Where would one even wear a fur coat? I loaned it to a local church last year for a Christmas play (I have no idea which part it played) but I can't think of one single place I could wear this. I go to work, home, grocery store, gas station, etc. No where that requires formal attire and I'm sure if I wore it to any of these places they would probably call the police on me.

So what to do? Do I keep this just in case Prince William and Lady Katherine invite me over for a New Year's Eve celebration or do I just give it to Goodwill and regret it forever?

Chances are I'll keep the damn thing "just in case".I have a whole closet full of "maybe I'll need a formal, maybe I'll lose weight, maybe I'll need full leather chaps"....I hope that I'm not the only person who does this otherwise, I have just "outed" myself as a closet hoarder.

I have been so busy at work this week, I don't even remember going to bed last night. Therefore I have not spoken to my friends or my mother all week. This could be bad. I don't know if Oprah (our elderly black lab) has been fed, the birds have food and water, the children are all accounted for, or anything else men seem to "forget". But I'm sure we have toilet paper. That is the one item my husband never forgets.

I'm sure that everything is fine (I say that but I still counted heads).

I have decided to try exposure therapy and take a trip. Any of you who know me personally understand that this is HUGE. I have the worst case of travel anxiety in the world..

I get all sweaty and have to shit about 38 times before we leave (if I haven't already found a way to get out of my obligation) and by the time we are already on board and committed... that's when the fun really begins.

I start out with a chin quiver when I realize I need the seat belt extension (the flight attendants are such bitches about them, you'd think they were in the video game case at Wal Mart and by the time we start to taxi down and the engines fire up..so do I.

The tears start uncontrollably SHOOTING out of my eyes. It is very hard on me, and I'm sure anyone around me. I once had a gentleman ask to change seats because I was upsetting him so much, what an ass hole. Bless his heart.

I don't know why it affects  (grammar police let me know if this is the correct use) me so, I am a rational, intelligent adult. The statistics show that you are more likely to die in a car accident than in a plane accident but I still can't stop crying. I understand that these pilots and such are professionals not just dumb asses off the street. I can't control it.  I don't know why I think I'm important enough to be "the one" with a plane issue.

Maybe they know about the fur coat......